EATFREAK

Ok.  Well it finally happened.  I missed a day.  Oh wait, I missed a shit load of days.  This last week proved to be the reason I cannot maintain a daily Blog.  In the end I think it’s for the best.  I have a hard time not writing about 40 pages per entry and now that there won’t be an entry every day it will give you, my precious reader, more time to enjoy it.  I think from now on you can expect roughly an entry a week.  I’ll throw in little special ones here and there, and sometimes it might be once every two weeks – but on average – one a week.

So – To make up for my tardiness I’m giving you a pretty serious recipe.  In my house this recipe translates roughly to “The Ultimate Comfort Food In The Fucking World”.  We all have our favorites.  Everyone has their ultimate comfort food that they turn to when in need.  For my wife and I (though it is a close call with a few other things) this reigns supreme.

This Spaghetti is super super duper easy.  It is not a fancy kick ass recipe that will blow your mind.  Well, it might blow your mind – it blows mine.  But it’s not gourmet – it’s not exotic and unique – it’s none of that stuff.  This is sweat-pants-and-reruns-of-”Cheers”  Spaghetti.

I got this recipe from my sister, Liz.  If you read the post about Clamato, she’s the one who warned me not to fuck with Beefomato.  Just to clarify (and avoid a family wide brawl)  I enjoy Beefomato very much.  I was simply implying that if someone had an issue with trying Clamato because they find it “weird” – they’ve got another thing coming.  (phew – tippytoed out of that one).  Um.  I’m pretty sure I haven’t changed a thing from the original recipe she gave me a few years ago – aside from the fact that all of the measurements are pretty much more like guidelines anyway.  Though I think I use significantly less Garlic than she does.

I made this recipe last week because my wife and I were both slammed with work.  I think I saw her a total of 3 hours all week.  I was so busy I literally couldn’t make it out to the opening weekend of a new Musical that I helped compose the music for.  BEAU FIB.    And she was busy preparing for and then putting on a very very important fashion show.   She’s kind of a freaking genius (as is her partner Lisa).  Together they are LEYENDECKER.

ah yes – the shameless plug – one of the pleasant perks of being incredibly self important.  Well at least that was a plug for somebody else.  But then, if Leyendecker does well – I do well.  So go buy their stuff – Daddy needs a new Wolf Range.

Anyway – back to the point.  Food.  Spaghetti.  Four Letter Words.

1 large can Tomato sauce – Liz and I both prefer Condatina (they didn’t have it today)

1 small can Tomato Paste – Liz and I both prefer Condatina (they had it today)
1 medium/small onion – Chopped
1 or 2 Celery Stalks – very thinly sliced
1-4 Garlic Cloves – I think Liz uses 4, I use about 2
crushed red pepper – some
Italian Seasoning – or dried oregano or whatever – some
Olive Oil
Kosher Salt and Fresh Ground Pepper
1 box Spaghetti Noodles
1 glass of wine – red or white, I change it depending on my mood.  sometimes I’ll use sweet vermouth or Sherry.  I think Liz uses Vodka and she uses a little more than a shot or so.
( 1 episode of Cheers .  early or late years, doesn’t matter.  Add more to taste if desired)

(Sidenote – sorry.  If you cook Tomatoes without using alcohol you fail to release a number of very kick ass flavor compounds inside the tomato.  Some recipes count on the lack of those compounds, fine.  Pay attention to the tomato recipes you cook with or without alcohol involved and get to know the difference – it’s significant.  generally the guideline is to use the amount of alcohol you would  drink …. so if you use beer, use a bottle, wine, use a glass, vodka, use a shot – etc.)

So – prep is important here – do it all in advance because you’ll be throwing a bunch of stuff in a hot pan in succession, you don’t want to be opening the can of tomato sauce while you are overcooking and burning your vegetables.

1.  pour some olive oil in a big hot sauce pan – look at the picture if you want to know how much.  judge how much of the herbs and red pepper you wanna use (careful with the pepper, seriously)  throw that in the oil with some salt and pepper too.  let that infuse for about 30 seconds.

2.  Chuck in the Onion – let it get awesome for a bit – I stir very consistently throughout this whole process, you don’t want ANYTHING to brown – when it’s translucent and your neighbors can smell it Throw in the Celery – again …wait for it to be awesome (lose a bit of it’s color)  Then throw in the Garlic – Do Not Let It Brown … but do let it get awesome … this is awesome (below)

actually this is slightly less than awesome. The celery needs to lose a bit more color, and i browned the herbs a bit because I had to take a picture for you ... you see? the sacrifices I make.

3.  Throw in the Tomato Sauce and Tomato Paste and stir like hell(come to think of it, i don’t think Liz uses the paste) anyway – to be completely honest, I eyeball it, and if I want more sauce today I throw in more sauce … this time I threw in one more small can of sauce.

4.  let it come to a bubble and chuck in the booze – stir.  Let it come to a steady bubble and reduce to low heat.

5.  if you’ve got a splatter shield – use it, this puppy’s a spitter.  You’re gonna keep that on low and reduce it until it’s the thickness you want.  I have no idea how thick you want it, so don’t ask me.  But you’re looking at at least an hour, more like two.  Liz likes it thicker than peanut butter, I believe.  I concur.

6.  When the sauce looks like it’s getting close to ready, boil a big ass pot of water.  Chuck in the noodles and cook them until they are done.

7.  I have no idea what Liz does now – I obey my wife at this point.  Strain the noodles – then chuck all of them in the sauce pan with the sauce.  Raise the heat to high and stir that ridiculous mess up until it’s smoking hot.

NOW SERVE AND EAT, FOOLS !!!!!!!

I could shove this shit in my face for days.  Every single time we make it – like a couple of freaking morons – we say “I think this is the best batch yet”.

It’s so easy – it’s so basic – it’s so simple.  I have no idea why people get addicted to crack when this spaghetti is out there – it’s cheaper, it tastes better, and I understand coming down off it is significantly milder.

It gets better day two.

As I cooked this, I listened to Julian Casablanca’s new album “Phrazes For The Young”.  It’s not out yet, but you can hear the full album on Myspace.  It’s kind of amazing.  There are definitely some pretty poopy songs on it, but the there is some other really really cool shit.  I’m not ashamed of my serious love of The Strokes.  You hear that, music snobs?  I don’t care what you think of me.  I own all of their records and all of their respective solo albums as well.  I have a great amount of respect for them as a band, and great respect for Casablancas.  I think that son of bitch really knows how to write a song, and I’m a sucker for an irreverent crooner.  Check it out.

SO!  Dump a super hot steaming pile of Spaghetti in a bowl, throw on some fucked up old sweats, and curl up on the couch with Ted Danson – but don’t get too close – that puppy’s a spitter too, as I understand.

ok bye.