EATFREAK

Hey Hey Hey – two for one!! woohoo!  So – new recipe for you today – it’s kinda cool because you sort of get two recipes out of the one.  So there

I’m not entirely sure – but I think my family made this one up.  Or – I don’t know.  If that’s not true I have no idea where it came from – I just remember we started making it at some point and it’s definitely become a staple.

This is one I used to teach all my friends in college a couple thousand years ago because the only “cooking” that goes down is boiling water for pasta.  A number of my friends used to successfully pull off making this dish in freaking dorm rooms .  So if you find it hard to make – that kinda means you’re retarded.

Again – it’s a pretty different dish.  If you’re a boring eater you will probably not like it – and also I hate you.  It’s not a dish for the closed minded eater.  But I don’t think anyone could ever support the opinion that it’s not really awesome.  So fuck it.  It’s good food.  make it.

Here’s what you need.

1 large (32 oz.) tub of Plain Yogurt   -  yeah get some greek or european style if you want – that will be cool.  for this one I just used plain old bullshit american plain yogurt.  it works great.
1 Large cucumber – peeled
3 Garlic Cloves – Pressed …  I believe in dicing and not using a Garlic press for the most part – but there are some dishes I think the press is better for – this is one of them.
1 Large Fistful of Dill – chopped up pretty small
Olive Oil …. some …  like a couple shots or so
Kosher Salt
Perciatelli Pasta – a box
Kalamata Olives – pitted …. some
Cherry Tomatoes … or whatever cute name they are giving tiny red tomatoes of varying shapes and origins at your supermarket this week ….

Here’s what you do.

1.  You’re gonna grate that Cucumber into a strainer or colander of some sort.  Use the very basic, standard, shredded cheese size.  Once you’ve shredded the whole thing in there – you are gonna salt the crap out of it.  Salt it once, big time – Shake it around – Salt it again.  Let it sit for like 15 minutes – salt it and shake it around again.  We are getting rid of as much moisture as possible.

2.  while the cucumber is draining, combine the Yogurt, Dill, Garlic, a few shots of Olive Oil in a large bowl and stir.

3.  After to Cucumber has dried for about 20 or more minutes, chuck it in the bowl and mix all together.   Let that sit in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.  You might need a bit more olive oil or a shake or three of kosher salt.  Make sure you didn’t skimp on the Dill too.  (I have no idea why this paragraph looks like this – I can’t get it to work)

There’s your Tzatziki.  Boom!! Step 3 is done and you already have one dish.

4.  Now, bring a big ass pot of water to a boil.  Chuck in your Perciatelli and cook until done.

5.  Strain the pasta.  Chuck a heap of the noodles on a plate or on whatever you want to eat off of.  Dump a heaping pile of Tzatziki over it.  Now drop a few of the Kalamata olives on there.  You can cut the cherry tomatoes in half if you want, or you could not cut the tomatoes in half, or you could not not cut the tomatoes in half – whatever you want – throw some of those on there too.

NOW EAT!!  It’s soo easy, it’s completely stupid.

Leftovers are the shit!  Get some pita bread, warm it up, dip it in the leftover Tzatziki.  Dip whatever you want in there actually.

So – warning – it’s kind of a really really garlicy dish.  I wouldn’t make it for someone you’re hoping to make out with.  I mean I could get into the idea of making out with someone with super garlicy breath – but I’m a really weird dude with a serious food obsession (read:  problem) – Just be warned.  I love garlic.  This is one of those dishes that, no matter how you wash or shower, your finger tips will smell like garlic for like 2 days.  Yes, there are totally ways to get rid of the garlic smell from your fingers.  But why the hell would you want to do that?  I guess the point is – you can hold back a bit on the garlic if you don’t want it to be crazy – but don’t hold back too much because the soaking of the garlic in all that stuff really plays into the overall flavor – maybe cut back to two cloves (i still think it just won’t be as good, but try it) Garlic is super good for you in a lot of ways – so O.D.ing on it every once in a while is good.

Have an open mind when you eat it.  It’s unexpected, but it’s really good and refreshing and different.  It’s a great summer pasta.  Did I mention it’s like the easiest thing to make in the whole freaking world?

ok bye.